Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire
Best Director: Danny Boyle for Slumdog Millionaire
Best Actor: Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler
Best Actress: Kate Winslet in The Reader
Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight
Best Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz in Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Best Original Screenplay: Milk
Best Adapted Screenplay: Frost/Nixon
Cinematography: Slumdog Millionaire
Film Editing: Slumdog Millionaire
Art Direction: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Costume Design: The Duchess
Original Score: Slumdog Millionaire
Original Song: Down to Earth from WALL-E
Best Makeup: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Sound Editing: The Dark Knight
Sound Mixing: Slumdog Millionaire
Best Visual Effects: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Best Animated Feature Film: WALL-E
Best Foreign Language Film: Waltz with Bashir — Israel
Best Documentary Feature: Man on Wire
Best Documentary Short: The Conscience of Nhem En
Best Live Action Short: Auf der Strecke 
Best Animated Short: La Maison en Petits Cubes

A question, provoked by a late-night viewing of the film The Edge:

Why the fuck don’t people who are lost in the woods per a plane crash, people that know that search parties will be, well, searching for them, light the motherfucking forest on fire? A goddamned forest fire would attract their attention! The people can frolic in the lake whilst they wait.

Dear Californication,

A dear friend of mine went to Passages rehab. I myself once spent a fun filled week in a Passages associated half-way house. It is with the knowledge gained through  this association and experience that I can conclusively write that Passages does not believe in the 12-Step program.

Tell your fact-checkers to be but a bit more rigorous. They could have just read L.A. Weekly for god’s sake! Weeds never would have made this mistake.

yours, in the midst of many contrivings,

Bend

gchat transcript

hahahahaha

Charlie’s Birthday didn’t just signify his aging. It also represented the anniversary of his mother’s death. She died while giving birth to him all those years ago. Charlie’s been living with that grief ever since Charlie’s father, media tycoon [something] Trout, had never wanted to celebrate his son’s Birthday. There were no Birthday parties for little Charlie. There weren’t even Birthday cakes. Nor were their gifts. A Lego set or a toy fire truck were never waiting at the foot of Charlie’s bed when he awoke on his Birthday morning. All he ever got was a deposit into his bank account.

What the fuck is Dan’s motherfucking problem? I hope Chuck stabs him to death.

Also this Aaron Rose character is making me very, very angry.

And was that the Kings of Leon in the background of that Times Square scene?

I can’t believe I have to look at Wallace Shawn’s face and hear his grating voice. He hasn’t been in anything worth watching since, what, like Clueless, and before that was The Princess Bride. I hope his father is turning over in his grave.

I’m seething, Gossip Girl. You are making me seeth.

UPDATE: What the fuck? It is the Kings of Leon and apparently it is Aaron Rose’s fucking theme music. It was edited as the background music in the Times Square scene, and is now playing in that idiots apartment!  Also the new Kings of Leon is terrible anyways.

While I’m ranting I might as well get Prop 8 out of the way.

Fuck you, people who voted for it.

I hope you run your fat bigoted asses into on coming traffic.

It’s simply motherfucking inexcusable. I’m from Los Angeles- the fact that my home state did this makes me want to riot. I was so happy and giddy on election night. Obama was winning all over the board. Then in the morning I found out about Prop 8. Godmotherfuckingdamnit. I wanted to set something on fire. History is going to look none too kindly on the people who voted to ban marriage. On a night when Americans came together and elected the first African-American President, California, Arizona, and Florida decided the kick the shit out of a huge number of Americans. Fuck you people for ruining this moment in history.

I was joking around with a friend of mine who lives in West Hollywood saying “that this is our generations last best hope to have a noble riot.” I hope I’m right and that this travesty marks the turning point in the entire GLBT debate- that this is some sort of dead cat bounce of homophobia. If I’m wrong and this bullshit keeps up sooner or later we’re going to have a real, proper riot. And if that happens I am going to break into motherfucking Best Buy and get me a flat screen TV.

I need to vent.

I’m sure everyone has seen this From 52 to 48 thing that is going around. I came upon it a few days ago when I was masochistically reading The Corner and saw one of the less psychotic writers link to it approvingly. Then I forgot all about it, until just now when john Cole reminded me of it.

It’s fucking ridiculous. I have no intention of reaching out to wingnuts, and since the GOP is populated solely by wingnuts of the RedState variety, I have no intention of reaching out to Republicans at all. I don’t want to be nice to them. Fuck them. I don’t understand how someone could vote for the McCain-Palin ticket. I mean, aI get why people voted for Bush in 2000. I also get why people voted for him in 2004, though I disagree strongly with them. But I don’t get voting for McCain after he picked Palin as his running mate.  If you voted for McCain I think you acted recklessly and endangered the welfare of the country. I have no respect for you.

The GOP needs to be burnt to the ground. I’m not saying Conservatism in some incarnation needs to swept into the sea (though that would be nice), the non-Free Republic Conservatives are more than welcome to join the Democratic arty. We already have to deal with the Blue Dogs. All the cats who realized that McCain-Palin was dangerous can become Democrats and then the important elections will be Primary fights.

Again, I’ll say it simply: Fuck you, GOP. I hope Rahmbo cuts the shit out of you.

Why does Baskin Robbins think it’s my birthday?

I hadn’t checked the Stats on wordpress for a while, mainly because it would depress me to be reminded that this blog has like eight readers, but today I decided to dive in.

I had forgotten that because I use song lyrics as post titles people end up reading my posts when they really don’t mean too.

For instance someone googled “someone who is edgy” and they ended up on this post about Sarah Palin being a cunt because Footsie used a Johnny Cash lyric.

Oddly the most common one of these is someone searching for “you’re like a disease without any cure,” which is from the Better than Ezra song “Laid” and ending up at this navel gazing post from August. Better than Ezra didn’t really have much staying power. I’m surprised so many people google their exact lyrics. Actually on second though they are the exact band that would experience this. People vaguely remember the song and then google to find out who sang it.

Some of my favorites (in ascending order of hilarity)-

Googled Term: “hand me down dress”

Resulting Post Subject: Media Sexism

GT: “cured sickness”

RPS: Jay Cost being stupid

GT: “footsie love”

RPS: Jane Harmon’s wealth

GT: “Old man making love”

RPS:  Abusing Drugs in Airports